Where do most people who want to change their life get stuck?

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Where do most people who want to change their life tend to get stuck in the process? Choose the answer you believe is correct:
A. They get stuck because they don’t know how to change others so their own lives get better.
B. A snow-bank.
C. They get stuck because they don’t know another way to handle things or people.
D. They get stuck because some people in their life just don’t get it.

Correct answer is C.

Author E. E. Cummings said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” Many people desire to make positive changes in their lives but get stuck because they don’t know how to handle things differently. It’s scary to think of life any other way IMG_0211than how we’ve been living it, even though it’s been far from a picnic. It’s scary to examine what we learned in childhood surroundings that may be incorrect. It’s scary to take a look at what we assumed to be normal. It’s scary to face what’s wrong and not working for us.                                                                                                                           But when we blame other people for our unhappiness, keep doing things we firmly promised not to, fail to do what we decided to do, then we begin to understand that we don’t know how to fix the mess our lives are in. We realize that we’re no longer able to soothe our fears and hurts. There remains nothing left to pull out of our hats. And we’re left stuck because we know no other way to think, feel, and act.

We know we’re unhappy, but we don’t know what to do differently. With all we’ve done with our attempts to be in control, we can no longer control our own sadness, which has no doubt reached a miserable level. We focused on solving problems that couldn’t possibly be solved with the ways we were trying to solve them. And when we failed to fix these problems, feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and even anger multiplied. All our inadequacies and all our hurts joined our self-doubts which we spent an enormous amount of time hiding because we needed to appear competent and in control. Marriage and Family Therapist Robin Norwood writes, “Most of the insanity and despair you experience comes directly from trying to manage and control what you can’t.”

So what would you do? Please share your suggestions on improving situations and making positive changes. –Dr. Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

4 thoughts on “Where do most people who want to change their life get stuck?

  1. NoeNAbadie

    Good info. Lucky me I came across your blog by chance (stumbleupon). I’ve bookmarked it for later!

    Reply
    1. Dr. Sandy NelsonDr. Sandy Nelson Post author

      Noe, how nice of you to leave such kind comments regarding E-Couch.net. I’m glad it’s been helpful to you. Please consider visiting my FB page at: facebook.com/ecouch.net. All good wishes, Dr. Sandy Nelson

      Reply
  2. BroderickLCruser

    Hello, I would like to subscribe for this blog to get most up-to-date updates,
    therefore where can i do it please assist.

    Reply
    1. Dr. Sandy NelsonDr. Sandy Nelson Post author

      Hello Broderick, thank you for your kind remarks. I’m glad you found E-Couch.net to be helpful. Please consider receiving new posts from E-Couch delivered to your email address by signing up for this feature. You can also read additional articles and valuable insights on my Facebook page at: facebook.com/ecouch.net.

      Thanks again for your comments,
      Dr. Sandy

      Reply

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