Tag Archives: Wisdom

How To Listen Up! – Dr Sandy Nelson

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HOW TO LISTEN UP!

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey tells of a father who came to him saying, “I can’t understand my kid. He just won’t listen to me.” Covey patiently tried to get the dad to see the inconsistency of his statement. You don’t understand people by getting them to listen to you. You understand them when you listen to them.charlie brown listen

Is anyone listening?

It’s true that our high-tech, fast paced society today allots less time to listen to one another. Everyone is in a hurry, no one has time, but the need for communication and connection is more important than ever. Relationships at work and at home cannot thrive or survive without listening to one another. It’s imperative that we need to listen up!

Ever jump to understand a person’s disagreeing view? That’s not the first move of most people in conversation. People usually jump to judge, to argue, or to reject, to debate, but to understand? That’s in a minority of people.

listen1But we can change that. When we listen to another person, we can refuse to be distracted by our own opinions and biases. We can accept that listening to a differing view is not going to cause the veins in our foreheads to explode. It’s only fair that If we want our point to be understood, we need to practice understanding the point of others. We need to listen up!

listen

Listen to what people say, not to what we want to hear. Listen to their choice of words, not what we want them to say. Listen to their values, their complaints, their priorities, their outlook, and how they speak about other people, because that will reveal who that person is. So pay attention, put down any distractions, look at the person speaking, and listen up.

To avoid the impulse to finish the sentences of a person who speaks slower than we do is often a tussle. This is a test of our patience. And another impulse to avoid is planning what to say next when we should be listening. Also don’t interrupt the person talking, or take calls, or look at our phone (or TV), or wave to someone we know, or stare at the floor or out the window, all of which convey that the person talking is a bother to us, and not important.

Look at the person talking, without distraction. Practice listening with the intent to understand. This earns the respect of others.

Think about it.FullSizeRender (8)

drsandy@e-couch.net  ♦  ©All rights reserved 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net  ♦  Photos courtesy of Pixabay.com unless otherwise indicated

Sure life can suck, but what’s the alternative?

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 “Find the good and applaud.” –Zig Ziglar

river-landscape-202273_1920 - CopyGreat advice from a great man and motivational speaker. For many of us the good in life is often sparse if not absent, but we must search for the good in our lives. We must find something that’s a positive and give thanks for it. We can complain about what’s lacking, what’s wrong, and what’s unfair in our lives or we can speak of what’s right, what’s good, and what’s praiseworthy.

Otherwise, what’s the alternative? Do we gripe and complain all day? Do we become the caustic types of people no one wants to be around because we’re so cynical? One thing I try to remember is that those who can be thankful for little seem to receive enough, and those who are blind to blessings in their life receive nothing more.

Some people determine their years by possessions and promotions. Some people are adverse to showing their age. But what shows more than objects and wrinkles is our attitude. The neat thing about our attitude is that it can be blemish free and vital without any surgical alteration!

sunLife is faithful to respond to your attitude. For the next 24 hours, do not complain, do not think about what’s missing in your life, and do not focus on what’s not right about it. Instead, think about what you have, what’s good about your life and have appreciation–applaud. Repeat after 24 hours.

There’s a saying that it’s your attitude, not arteries, that determines the vitality of your life. Today, show the world an attitude that’s stunning and will turn heads! And you will have enough.

Think about it! In caring and gratitude, Sandy

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©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

What’s your level of wisdom?

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Seneca said before his death in 65 A.D. that “No man was ever wise by chance.” Throughout history that proclamation has remained true.

Intelligence may have genetic factors but wisdom does not – is voluntary. Intelligence is knowledge of educational subjects. Someone can obtain exceptional intelligence and a high I.Q., but possess no wisdom.

Wisdom is insight and repose learned from the experience of living. There’s no aptitude necessary before wisdom can be attained. But wisdom will not emerge in our lives unless we seek it—it doesn’t occur by chance—it’s a deliberate decision.

IMG_0682When we admit and learn from mistakes we attain wisdom. When we can feel remorse for a past encounter, we obtain wisdom. When we acknowledge our limitations, weaknesses, and flaws and can embrace humility, we gain wisdom. When we seek to love instead of criticize and to forgive instead of resent or hate, you capture wisdom.

A painful lesson is often an opportunity for wisdom. Some people see its light and receive the growth. There are times that wisdom is merely an open mind with a willingness to accept with faith the unknown.

The complexities of life teach us wisdom.¹ What level of wisdom have you reached in your life thus far? -Dr. Sandy

¹Karen Casey, Each Day a New Beginning, Daily Meditations for Women, by Hazelden Foundation

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net