Tag Archives: Self-Degrading Thoughts

What are you expecting today?

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Some individuals hold others responsible for the disappointment and unwanted outcomes they experience. This furnishes them with a blaming, self-defeating state of mind. After being injured, disappointed, hurt, and violated enough times we may forfeit the anticipation of good outcomes in life. We remain snared in the unfairness of life where incorrect thinking and pessimistic feelings reign. We invent an imaginary scale by which events are weighed. Of course, the scale never measures above bad luck. No matter how many blessings exist or good IMG_0294things happen, it’s not seen, or it’s not enough, or something is flawed with it or we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“You have a style, a way of being. You hear people describe others by noting their persona: He’s a real hard charger, or she’s a cool customer. Some approach life as a combat: they’re hostile, even explosive. Others are milquetoast who expect to get trampled, and do. Your attitude of approach dictates what you get back. You may complain about the way people react to
you, but believe me, you create it, just as everyone else creates the reactions they get from the world. Honestly evaluate your style of engagement, and you will begin to understand why the world responds to you as it does.”¹

Unless we tackle the thinking that results in this self-defeating negativity, we’ll become more complaining, more resentful, and continue to experience more unfairness because that’s what we’re expecting. What are you expecting today? Dr. Sandy

¹Dr. Phil McGraw in Life Strategies

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

Do you nurture your mind with great thoughts?

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“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.”¹ 

Around the beginning of the nineteenth century, French pharmacist Emile Coue introduced the idea of using affirmative thinking to counter stress. It was his belief that IMG_0271the power of a positive thought far exceeds that of the will.

A century later, researchers have confirmed what Coue already knew. Your thoughts can rocket your life into abundance and happiness, or plummet you into homelessness and joblessness.

Today, think of an affirming thought that can help you succeed, or be happy, or whatever you desire. Keep it short. For example, “I am worthy of love,” or “I am going to get ahead.” Recite your affirming thought throughout the day, every day, whenever you have a moment and envision yourself in the situation you desire. -Dr. Sandy

¹Benjamin Disraeli, British Conservative politician, writer and aristocrat in the 1800’s who twice served as Prime Minister

Where do you stand with the real enemy today?

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Our real enemy is neither war nor poverty. Our greatest opposition isn’t the economy or people with differing opinions. Our worse enemy is the inner critical voice that resides in each of us. It’s that voice that will not allow our success, security, or peace.

IMG_0916In the 16th century, Sir Thomas Browne became aware of this inner woe. He was an English polymath and author of varied works which revealed his wide learning in diverse fields including science and medicine, religion and the esoteric. He wrote, “But how shall we expect charity towards others, when we are uncharitable to ourselves? Charity begins at home, this is the voice of the world; yet is every man his greatest enemy, and, as it were, his own executioner.”

Our opponent is not the stock market or threat matrix; it’s the echo of self-degrading comments that arrests any love or kindness towards ourselves, and therefore; towards other people. We must break free. What are your thoughts, your comments, about where do you stand with your real enemy today? -Dr. Sandy

How were you rewarded for achieving as a child?

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What are the ways in which you were rewarded as a child for achieving?

From little on, most individuals are taught to strive for perfection in their IMG_0281.JPG (2)endeavors. Teachers applaud kids that get correct all the answers. Family members cheer the child who achieves and accomplishes. Those who seem to do things perfectly are praised and favored.

Yet reality tells us that there is good, and there is great, but perfect does not exist on a continual basis. Since you may have been taught as a child to seek a standard that is almost impossible to sustain, you may have an inner conflict between what you believe you must obtain, and what you actually can obtain.

You need to determine how important a certain standard is in every situation. But determining the importance of a standard should not come from an inner critical parental voice that berates less than perfect efforts.

Are you daily battered with the idea of perfection? Today, recognize that good and great outcomes are respected and valued. –sn

Do you remain living under the thumb of an inner critical voice?

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Is there evidence today that you remain living under the thumb of an inner critical parental voice? In the book Between Tears and Laughter, author Alden Nowlan writes, “The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself he becomes wise.”

IMG_0203When we tell ourselves the same critical things our parents told us, we remain in a damaging childhood under the ever critical and condemning eye of disapproving and displeasing parents.

Not all of what we were told to believe in childhood is true. Critical remarks about mistakes are not true. Performance does not determine self-worth. Perfection does not define importance. Our significance is not dependent on another person’s opinion.

When we choose to tell ourselves today the same degrading remarks our parents verbalized, we linger in a harmful mental setting.

Today, share with me how you silence that inner critical voice. -sn

What Do You Get From Beating Yourself Up

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Until you accept and like yourself, no matter how much you achieve or obtain, it will never be IMG_0510 - Copyenough to make you happy. Happiness is the result of liking who you are. You can’t turn on yourself and feel happy or motivated about your life. You can’t beat yourself up and feel content and encouraged. Self-criticism will never motivate you to succeed. Catch your self-degrading thoughts. Catch them in the act. Interrupt the train of self-bashing. Stop it. —sn