Tag Archives: Prejudice

How To Hate

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How To Hate

Only a person with self-contempt can contemplate murder. Self-worth and self-respect can’t co-exist with hatred. But organized hatred helps give new meaning to the lives of those who feel marginalized. That’s how to hate.

In 1915, D.W. Griffith used the technology of motion pictures to make Birth of a Nation, a film prejudicethat portrayed African-Americans as stupid, lazy and inferior, and glorified the Ku Klux Klan for standing up for the rights of the white supremacy majority. It was so effective in fostering hate against blacks that even Griffith himself was said to have been shocked.

One hundred years later, in Charleston, South Carolina, Dylann Roof walked into a Bible study on Wednesday evening, June 17th with a mindset of how to hate. His reason for attending was to shoot and kill everyone there. For an hour, Roof sat with the group and participated in their discussions about Scripture. Later, Roof told police he almost aborted his plan to kill the group because they were so welcoming and kind to him.

Michael Daly of The Daily Beast wrote:

But that would have meant giving up the hate that filled the hollowness of being born of a fleeting reunion between his parents three years after their divorce and of getting no further in high school than the ninth grade, but wearing a jacket with an “Academic All Stars” patch rightfully worn only by seniors in the top 10 percent. 

He had compensated for that false claim by sewing two other patches on the jacket, flags of apartheid-era Rhodesia and South Africa, symbols for those seeking another kind of supposed supremacy. 

And his older sister, Amber, was to be married on Sunday. To have just left the Emanuel A.M.E. Church on Wednesday night would have meant going to the wedding at the end of the week as a rank loser from a fractured family who could rightly declare himself supreme in nothing at all.

Even so, Roof seems to have understood in his moments of indecision that these warmly devout people of the Bible study group were putting the lie to his racism. He may have sensed that the faith filling their lives might also fill his own.

After an hour, just as he was apparently losing his resolve and his hate was slipping away, Roof seized it anew. He allegedly produced the Glock .45 automatic that he is reported to have purchased with birthday money from his father.

That was when Tywanza Sanders is said to have told him, “You don’t have to do this.”

Roof is said to have replied as if he were also trying to convince himself. He was not some loser. He was a champion of the white race about to start a race war.

“I have to do it,” he reportedly cried out.

His next words were the language of white supremacists. “You rape our women and you’re taking over our country. And you have to go.”

Hate is a painful state of being because the mind is not intended to hate. Everybody is born with an inner purpose—to love ourselves and to love others.

IMG_2247It is not only our hatred of others that is dangerous but also and above all our hatred of ourselves: particularly that hatred of ourselves which is too deep and too powerful to be consciously faced. For it is this which makes us see our own evil in others and unable to see it in ourselves, wrote Catholic Monk Thomas Merton in New Seeds of Contemplation.

A zero self-worth is a developed misery. It’s miserable because it’s painful and unnatural to hate one’s self—it goes against our very nature. Our core disposition is to love, not despise; to include, not shut out; to embrace, not isolate.

When we as a society stop the hate, end the prejudice, and embrace all human beings of all ages with dignity and respect they’re entitled to, then maybe the violence will end. When we encourage and support one another, then the inner flames of self-worth are not extinguished.

FullSizeRender (6)Think about it.

drsandy@e-couch.net  ♦  ©All rights reserved 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

Racial Murders in America

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Racial Murders in America

I am not a politician.

I don’t understand all the finite workings of government in our Congress and Senate.

But I AM AN AMERICAN.

I am an American who is burdened by the racial murders and hate that grows more rampant in our city streets, and our neighborhoods.

I feel deeply moved and impelled to apologize to the African American people of this country.

I realize in the big picture, my apology won’t really matter and it won’t heal the many emotional wounds, but I am so sorry for the hater’s, and the ignorant, and the arrogant individuals of my race. Like the shooter, I am white. And because I’m white I feel disgraced today, and a sense of responsibility to speak up about the hate in our country.

Prejudice and hate are taught. No child is born with prejudice. It starts in the home. Kids, little kids, are learning that people are bad who don’t look like them. They hear adults make spiteful remarks. Kids listening and watching and mimicking. Shame on you parents who raise your children to hate other people of the HUMAN race. Shame on you! There is no superior race. There is only a human race.

How can the American people not realize this pattern of shootings and murders and terrorism must stop, NOW. Or I fear for all of us living in America.

It’s WE THE PEOPLE. I am THE PEOPLE. You are THE PEOPLE. WE THE PEOPLE decide who to place in Washington. WE, as a country, need to face the stark reality that these shootings will not end unless we end the hate. Why hate? What’s the purpose, the goal? I already know what the outcome will be–more dying sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, wives and husbands.

Death. That’s the outcome. That’s the stark reality. Needless death.

My heart is grieving for the community and church members of the African-American Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina.

God help us all.

Think about it.

drsandy@e-couch.net  ♦  ©All rights reserved 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

 

5 Ways To Be Rejected – Dr. Sandy Nelson

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5 Ways To Be Rejected – Dr. Sandy Nelson

1. Think only of yourself

If you’re looking to be rejected among pals, co-workers, and even as a romanticme1 partner, make everything all about you. Be sure to make it obvious you have no interest in conversating about stuff that doesn’t involve yourself. Do that, and the goal to be excluded will be only moments away.

Healthy relationships require a mutual genuine caring for and interest in another person. As the saying goes There’s no “I” in Team.

 

2. Don’t compromise

Compromise? Don’t be silly. You want things your way. There’s no meeting half-way for you. All plans voiced by others are iffy until approved by what works best for you. Refuse to have any consideration for the needs or preferences of those around you and soon enough you’ll be left in the cold.

Making concessions with others is only necessary when you value a relationship and want to be a decent human being.

 

3. Act like a Know-It-All

You think you know everything. In fact, it’s a dumb idea for others to question knowyour authority on everything. The words: I don’t know never come out of your mouth. You’re a chatter box on thee way to do all things on earth and you’re happy to be the interrupty of conversations to point that out. So it should come as a no-brainer when you’re kicked to the curb because no one likes a Know-It-All.

I repeat, no one likes a Know-It-All.

 

4. Be dishonest

Here’s a good idea: make yourself look good using lies. Tell tall stories that inflate who you are, what you do, and who you know. In conversations expand on your fake talents and gifts to the world. Makes promises you have no intention of keeping. Forget having any relationships because that would require the real you, who even you don’t know anymore. When you dodge the truth, c’mon people know you’re lying, and those people will dodge you.

Real relationships require real people.

 

5. Practice prejudice

Acceptance is a word thrown around, but rarely considered by you in chats prejudice1about other people. No way. Suspicion is what you preach when talking about cultures and races different than your own. You denounce any way of living that doesn’t meet your authoritative standards. Judging and condemning people by the color of their skin is the least you can do. Your ignorance leads you to perceive that you possess supreme superiority. Rejection will be a cakewalk.

Here are two human enlightenment’s: 1. There is a God.  2. We are not him.

 

Think about it.

 

drsandy@e-couch.net  ♦  ©All rights reserved 2014 Dr. Sandy Nelson E-Couch.net  ♦  Photos courtesy of Pixabay.com unless otherwise indicated