Tag Archives: Limitations

Are you at war with yourself?

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In Becoming Human, Jean Vanier writes: “If we deny our weakness—if we want to be powerful and strong always, we deny a part of our being, we live an illusion. To be human is to accept who we are, this mixture of strength and weakness.”

The feeling of inner happiness is so much easier when you cease fire with yourself. When you can openly acknowledge your limitations and recognize your weaknesses instead of trying to bluff your way through life, a healthy self-worth appears.

IMG_0906 - Copy - Copy - CopyI have several limitations and weaknesses: I’m bad at math, lack mechanical know-how, and have restricted airspace in my brain sometimes. My cooking ability is basic as is my sewing stitch. I prefer to watch other people be athletic; I hate to exercise. I can’t wrap my brain around financial planning, computers, or what all those little lines in a ruler mean. There’s a lot I don’t know and more that I don’t know how to do. My downfalls don’t devastate me; however, because they’re balanced with positive traits.

Listen for the words you use every day. Are they self-degrading? Are they judgmental phrases? Sarcastic tones? Or encouraging expressions? Caring speech? Your words reflect your self-respect and character. Your words reflect what you believe about yourself. How can you have self-confidence and self-degradation at the same time? Where you are today can be attributed to the words you tell yourself. Stay aware of the words you choose to verbalize. Be sure they match the character you want to role model to others.

Make a list today of your limitations and weaknesses. Practice stating them to others. People will respect your admission, because they have limitations and weaknesses, too. Once you recognize your positive traits and abilities, you will be able to accept your limitations and weaknesses without feeling inferior; and the war within that bombs you with self-degrading comments ends.

Think about it. In caring, Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

Why appear perfect?

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This epitaph adorns the grave of Ellen Shannon, 26, of Girard, Pennsylvania: Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with “R. E. Danforth’s Non-Explosive Burning Fluid.
IMG_0560(2)Apparently, R. E. Danforth thought his non-explosive burning fluid would not explode. Most mistakes are not fatal like Danforth’s product, but merely inconveniences and disappointments. A mistake is an unwanted outcome, not necessarily a reflection of adequacy. Mistakes are messages that more information or knowledge is needed to create the outcomes you want.
I have heard that an eagle misses 70 percent of its strikes. Why should I expect to do better?¹ Our thoughts are delusional if we think life can unfold without mistakes. In fact, the more we’re compelled to present ourselves as error-free, the more it indicates delusional thinking. You and I are going to make mistakes the rest of our lives. We’re imperfect, with flaws, weaknesses, and limitations. There are things we do not have knowledge of; things we do not know how to do.
If you didn’t focus energy on appearing error-free today, where else would you focus that energy? Today, view any mistake as an unwanted outcome and instead of beating yourself up for it, admit the mistake and seek a different solution. –Dr. Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

¹Sophy Burnham, American author

Can you name one fault you possess that you find difficult to admit to other people?

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Gandhi often made his faults known. In The Life of Mohatma Gandhi he wrote, “I am painfully conscious of my imperfections, and therein lies all the strength I possess, because it is a rare thing for a man to know his own limitations.”

IMG_0637Gandhi did not fear the disapproval or disrespect of other people because of his limitations or weaknesses. On the contrary, the acknowledgement of his faults resulted in him receiving the respect and admiration.

You may spend time denying or hiding imperfections from others thinking that will assure your receipt of acceptance, respect, and approval. In reality, it annoys people and pushes them away from you. Who wants to be with someone who acts perfect? Who wants to know someone who thinks he or she has all the answers? We connect with people through our weaknesses. We respect people who can admit their limitations.

Today, admit a weakness… acknowledge an imperfection… announce a limitation! Make a connection. -Dr. Sandy