Tag Archives: Flexibility

What Do You Deserve?


Do you pause with this question?

What do you deserve? Do you even know? Do you feel guilty for craving more in life?

First, let’s get that guilt out of the way. God, through Jesus, has liberated you self-confidence2from your own guilt and has provided your freedom.

God does not want you living in guilt, self-condemnation, despair, or sabotaging His blessings for you. That is not what He desires for your life. He wants you to have joy, affection, and achievement with your endeavors. God has given each of us talents, skills, gifts, and abilities for use to better our lives and help the lives of other people.

What do you deserve? You deserve happiness, love, and success. You deserve shelter and sunlight and shade and warmth. Done. You deserve to determine your destiny. Fini. You deserve the moon! And you have it. You deserve a universe! It’s all yours.

10433864_10153254889623908_6471637140694356733_nBut, any negative thoughts you have about yourself can cause you to sabotage your relationships, success, and happiness. If you do not treat yourself with love and respect, you can not experience the love and respect of other people.

What do you deserve? If you do not believe you deserve success, you will not experience it. If you do not think you should be happy, you will not find happiness.

What words do you use every day? Critical words? Ones used to complain? Judgmental phrases? Sarcastic tones? Encouraging expressions? Caring speech? Words of gratitude?

Your words reflect your character. Your words reflect what you believe about yourself. Where you are today can be attributed to the words you tell yourself.

Stay aware of the words you choose to verbalize. Do they match the character IMG_0862you want to role model to others? Are they in agreement with the integrity you want to be associated with?

Jump on any negative thoughts about yourself. Refuse to criticize your mistakes or degrade your limitations.

Pay attention to your inner critical voice that degrades you. Realize it represents voices of those who criticized you in the past. Those voices don’t represent the truth today.

What do you deserve?

FullSizeRender (5)Think about it.

drsandy@e-couch.net  ♦  ©All rights reserved 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net  ♦  Photos courtesy of Pixabay unless otherwise noted

Will you hurry the hell up?


Impatient people are trying to have a life that can never be. They struggle to accept a world that is not perfect. Everyone has a different speed of performing patiencetasks. There will always be situations where delays exist in waiting rooms or waiting in line. Postponements and cancellations are part of life. So is road construction, dead batteries, noise, indigestion, rules, pet hair, potholes, and static cling. But a disturbance in the plans of an impatient individual often produces anger and intolerance. Psychologist and author, Joseph Bailey, says “When you get impatient, you become irritated and judgmental, and that creates distance between you and the other person.”

If you are burdened with impatience, you embark on a never-ending voyage of negativity and unhappiness. When your day is interrupted with delays and inconveniences you may act on faulty thinking and just give-up in a heap of frustration. You might conclude that if there’s going to be obstacles than just forget it—if there’s hassles, then you don’t need the aggravation. You may give up on your job, your education, your relationships, your family. That’s one way that impatience impacts thinking—you give up, quit.

Another outcome from impatience is reactive behavior. You might impulsively do something or say something without thinking—you wig out. When someone isn’t following your game plan, you’re off on a tirade. You explode with criticisms, you make degrading comments—you hurt other people.

As it was last year, last month, and last Friday, the same is true today: you’ll encounter many situations where your way, choice, expectation, or preference doesn’t occur. Around each bend there are cliffs of failure, walls of disappointment, and highways of the unexpected. Each day presents you with numerous moments that require patience—restraint of anger and frustration.

Some people would debate that it’s human nature to be disappointed with an unwanted outcome. That it’s natural to experience frustration when met with defeat. That it’s to be expected to feel a let down when expectations fail to patience1materialize. Yet, the reaction or response to disappointment, frustration, and mistakes that befall human beings varies. Some people display unhealthy tantrum-like opposition in rebellion. Some people, smiling or not, patiently endure waiting with little or no outward demonstration of upset. One thing for sure: you can’t have patience and lack self-control. When you’re impatient, you’re not self-controlled—you’re not in command of yourself. Patience is tolerance that allows and respects others’ preferences or methods without necessarily agreeing. Since an impatient person isn’t a happy person, you’ll not likely experience happiness without a high level of patience—patience with yourself and others.

Think about it. In caring, Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

Do you feel motivated and appreciated after receiving criticism?


There’s no such thing as constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is an oxymoron—a contradiction. 

When we are criticizing someone, we are assessing that person’s actions and then judging it as right or wrong, good or bad. Who are we to judge? It is only our opinion. I am IMG_0430not referring to moral rights and wrongs or the acts of criminals. I am referring to the everyday critical remarks that seem to flow all too effortlessly from our mouths about someone else’s preferences that do not match ours.

Criticizing is not a good use of our time. Time is too short and valuable to spend it condemning someone else’s preferences.

Today, refuse to criticize anyone, including yourself. You will find the outcome amazingly positive. The voice of the human rights movement, Odetta Holmes, said, “The better we feel about ourselves, the fewer times we have to knock somebody else down to feel tall.” –Dr. Sandy


What situation in your life are you attempting to avoid?


I have to admit that when a problem pops up I tend to blop down–as if sitting with a sigh is going to summon my Fairy Godmother and her magic wand to make it all better. I just want to pretend for a minute (okay, maybe longer than a minute) that everything is okay. There are problems in life that can bring us to our knees. But the truth is avoiding a problem seems to imagesCA96EYD2just cause more misery.

In his best-selling book The Road Less Traveled, psychiatrist Dr. Scott Peck wrote, “This tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness.”

That’s quite a claim. Facing difficulties requires intellect and reasoning ability to seek out solutions. Sometimes we’re too emotional to be rational and need some time to process painful feelings before we can think clearly.

If we accept that life is difficult, it will no longer surprise us that it often is. We will expect struggles. We will anticipate problems and hardships. And we will be more prepared to problem-solve where needed. We can seek support and guidance, instead of avoidance. –Dr. Sandy


Who is standing in the way of your dreams?


The American author Napoleon Hill wrote, “Until you have learned to be tolerant with those who do not always agree with you; until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire; until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy.”

belief16 - CopyIt seems so obvious. People who are demanding, critical, and pessimistic are doomed to a life of unhappiness and defeat. If they would only accept the reality that it isn’t other people who are standing in the way of their dreams; the obstacle is their own thinking.

People who focus on the worse are not able to attract the best into their lives. The more intolerant and demanding a person is, the less success he or she will reap. If you will today, practice respecting and accepting the differing opinions of others, speak of what’s positive in another person, and tag the good in situations, you will be well on the path of happiness and success. –Dr. Sandy

Why have you changed?


“If you fear change, leave it here.” –Sign on a restaurant tip jar.

What have been the reasons for the changes you’ve made in your life?

Even though all life exists in a constant state of revision, some IMG_0262people are adamantly change-resistant. I confess I fall in that category. I am a creature of the routine. But the comfort and security that I think is achieved from defying change is deceiving—it’s an illusion. Everything and everyone is always changing regardless of anyone’s wishes.

We tend to fear and criticize new methods and what we do not comprehend. When the railroads were first introduced in the U.S., some people feared that the speed of railroad cars would cause brain damage in its passengers. Instead of illustrating a willingness to understand, apprehension can find us stubbornly posed like obstinate mules on their butts refusing to budge.

The readiness to be flexible and open to different ideas and methods can make living more happy and worthwhile–even more convenient. Today, is it possible to embrace changes in your day rather than defy them? –sn