Tag Archives: Control

5 Ways To Be Rejected – Dr. Sandy Nelson

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5 Ways To Be Rejected – Dr. Sandy Nelson

1. Think only of yourself

If you’re looking to be rejected among pals, co-workers, and even as a romanticme1 partner, make everything all about you. Be sure to make it obvious you have no interest in conversating about stuff that doesn’t involve yourself. Do that, and the goal to be excluded will be only moments away.

Healthy relationships require a mutual genuine caring for and interest in another person. As the saying goes There’s no “I” in Team.

 

2. Don’t compromise

Compromise? Don’t be silly. You want things your way. There’s no meeting half-way for you. All plans voiced by others are iffy until approved by what works best for you. Refuse to have any consideration for the needs or preferences of those around you and soon enough you’ll be left in the cold.

Making concessions with others is only necessary when you value a relationship and want to be a decent human being.

 

3. Act like a Know-It-All

You think you know everything. In fact, it’s a dumb idea for others to question knowyour authority on everything. The words: I don’t know never come out of your mouth. You’re a chatter box on thee way to do all things on earth and you’re happy to be the interrupty of conversations to point that out. So it should come as a no-brainer when you’re kicked to the curb because no one likes a Know-It-All.

I repeat, no one likes a Know-It-All.

 

4. Be dishonest

Here’s a good idea: make yourself look good using lies. Tell tall stories that inflate who you are, what you do, and who you know. In conversations expand on your fake talents and gifts to the world. Makes promises you have no intention of keeping. Forget having any relationships because that would require the real you, who even you don’t know anymore. When you dodge the truth, c’mon people know you’re lying, and those people will dodge you.

Real relationships require real people.

 

5. Practice prejudice

Acceptance is a word thrown around, but rarely considered by you in chats prejudice1about other people. No way. Suspicion is what you preach when talking about cultures and races different than your own. You denounce any way of living that doesn’t meet your authoritative standards. Judging and condemning people by the color of their skin is the least you can do. Your ignorance leads you to perceive that you possess supreme superiority. Rejection will be a cakewalk.

Here are two human enlightenment’s: 1. There is a God.  2. We are not him.

 

Think about it.

 

drsandy@e-couch.net  ♦  ©All rights reserved 2014 Dr. Sandy Nelson E-Couch.net  ♦  Photos courtesy of Pixabay.com unless otherwise indicated

 

 

 

 

Control Freaks Disassemble

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I am a recovering control freak.

images (25)I realized that my effort to control individuals in my life was the opposite of love and respect because my love was conditional on their compliance—agreement with me. That was wrong. I placed these individuals in the position of having no freedom to disagree with me or state different thoughts, opinions, needs, or preferences. I was wrong. People do have the right to see things differently, to prefer something else, and to do things the way I wouldn’t. That’s what I’ve practiced the past decade.

How have you handled individuals who have verbalized their right to say no to you, or to disagree with you? With anger or with respect?

It’s important to accept and respect the opinions, thoughts, feelings, choices, and decisions of every individual rather than see it as a responsibility to convince the person they’re wrong, misinformed, or whatever. When we accept and respect others, we demonstrate healthy, adult behavior and self responsibility—we allow them to be who they are and we focus on who we are.

If we’re upset, mad, resentful, or hurt, when someone disagrees with us, then we’re not accepting and respecting the other person. Were saying that our acceptance of them is conditional on their compliance with our opinions. As you accept others as they are, you become less needy and dependent on them for happiness and well-being. You become more independent and self-responsible.

Wayne Dyer states: Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.

We need to grant others the freedom to be themselves and be unlike us. People who accept and respect others don’t withhold their love or approval, don’t use guilt trips, and don’t try to manipulate the situation if someone sees things differently.

belief15Your motive for saying or doing something needs to be one without conditions, strings, or expectations from the other person. This is exactly why knowing your motives and reasons for what you say and do is vital to healthy relationships! Ask yourself: What is my motive for saying or doing this? If it’s to get your way, change the person’s mind, prove that you’re right, gain approval, or criticize, it’s an unhealthy motive.

If you grew up fearing a loss of love if you disagreed with others or didn’t comply with their wishes, then today treating other people the same way is just the reenactment of your childhood atmosphere. You’re doing exactly what the adults in your childhood did, and remember how that impacted you! Take responsibility to correct any thinking that prompts you to control other people.

Think about it.

drsandy@e-couch.net  ♦  ©All rights reserved 2014 Dr. Sandy Nelson E-Couch.net  ♦  Photos courtesy of Pixabay.com