Other people learn how to treat us when we tell them what’s acceptable behavior around us and what is not; what actions we will let slide, and what attitudes we’ll not back down on. How someone behaves toward us, or treats us, has been communicated to them through our interactions.
To think that someone will stop unacceptable actions if you just ignore it or ignore them, isn’t likely to happen. But remember, the point of stating what’s acceptable and unacceptable to you, isn’t to manipulate or control the other person either. The purpose of giving yourself a voice isn’t to get the person or situation to change to your liking. The reason for stating your thoughts, opinions, and needs is to honor your identity–your SELF. You verbalize thoughts and opinions to give integrity to your self-respect and special being. You acknowledge that you’re a separate individual with values, priorities, and principles. When someone else communicates his or her thoughts, opinions, value, priorities, and principles to you, they are either acceptable and agreeable to you or not acceptable and not agreeable. They are not stated for debate or judgment.
Today, resist the urge to tell someone that their thoughts are wrong, or attempt to change the person. Either accept the person, and nurture the relationship, or realize there’s no compatibility and accept that no deep relationship or friendship is likely with that person. Dr. Sandy
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