Category Archives: Positive Thinking

Unsuccessful? Unhappy? This could be why.

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Around the beginning of the nineteenth century, French psychologist and pharmacist Emile Coué, introduced the use of a mantra-like conscious suggestion—what we call today a affirmation1positive affirmation. The Coué method centered on the routine repetition of an affirmation—preferably as much as twenty times a day, and especially at the beginning and at the end of each day. Unlike the commonly held belief that a person’s strong will constitutes the best path to success, Coué maintained that unblocking some of our obstacles requires a change in our unconscious thought. It was his belief that the power of a positive thought far exceeds that of the will.

A century later, researchers have confirmed what Coué already knew. Your thoughts can rocket your life into abundance and happiness, or plummet you into homelessness and joblessness. Coué wasn’t the only person who realized the connection between our thoughts and our experiences.

Former Britain Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli said: Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think. 

Even Buddha preached: All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.

You can expect situations to evolve in your life as a direct result of what you say affirmationto yourself and think about. Focus on what you want to happen in your life and you will then create situations to obtain it. Resist thinking about what you don’t want to happen. If you focus on not wanting to be rejected, more rejection is what you’ll get. If you focus on avoiding inconveniences, you’ll have more inconveniences in your experiences.

It’s easy to get on board with millions of people already experiencing the benefits of utilizing affirmations. Here’s what you do:

  1. Consciously focus on what you want to achieve. Envision it your mind. See yourself in the circumstances that you want to accomplish. Meditate, as often as possible each day, on what you visualize.images (44)
  2. Think of an affirming thought or short phrase that can help you succeed, or be happy, or whatever you desire. Keep it short. For example, “I will find love,” or “I am going to succeed.” Recite your affirming thought or phrase throughout the day, every day, whenever you have a moment.
  3. Use sticky notes to jot down your affirmations and keep them visible to serve as reminders to stop for a minute and meditate. You can also journal your phrases and expand on what achievements you desire.
  4. It’s crucial that your visions and thoughts are of a positive nature. For example, rather than concentrating on “I want to avoid unreasonable people,” make it a positive by focusing on “I will be patient and calm with people.”

What you choose to think about and the attitude in which you think about it is so significant that becoming conscious of this fact alone can alter your life and what you experience day-to-day.

Think about it.

 

drsandy@e-couch.net  ♦  ©All rights reserved 2014 Dr. Sandy Nelson E-Couch.net  ♦  Photos courtesy of Pixabay.com

What is denial? Fuhgeddaboudit.

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images (13)Denial. Fuhgeddaboudit. Really, how bad can it be? It’s just make believe. We’re all experts in pretending from our early years of childhood play. Where’s the harm in inventing our own reality today as adults? Or excusing our involvement with harmful habits; after all, it’s only occasionally. And not thinking about certain critical situations enables us to get through the day. Fuhgeddaboudit.

Author Rosalind Kaplan wrote: Denial is a useful defense mechanism until it’s not.

Due to a shocking and emotionally painful situation, a part of the brain prevents a conscious awareness of the truth or reality–this is called denial. Denial is intended to be a short term defense mechanism that the brain uses to give a person a brief time to accept a painful or stressful event–to accept the reality of it.

In what appears to be sympathy and approval, Sigmund Freud wrote: Illusions images (21)of denial commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces.

Today, denial is seen as a delusional mind-set that believes in something that doesn’t exist. Denial is the biggest barrier facing emotional and physical health. It prevents those in the snare of addictions or abuse from seeing how their lives have become unraveled and out of control. It stops people with physical pain from making an appointment with a physician.

images (22)People refuse to accept the truth or refuse to admit the truth; and this, sadly, keeps them in an emotional prison of despair instead of protecting them from pain. People excuse behavior, minimize behavior, and defend behavior that’s battering, habitual, and destructive because another way of thinking or living seems scarier. In reality they experience the very thing they’re frightened of because denial creates fear; it doesn’t eliminate it. Pretending that something doesn’t exist, doesn’t make it go away. And fears of the unknown create more worry and anxiety.

People who have experienced an emotionally injurious past may struggle with images (26)reality today. Impelled to avoid revisiting painful feelings and situations, they may pretend that facts in their life today are negotiable. They may deny truths about certain behaviors in a person to avoid facing the pain of ending the relationship, even though it’s toxic. They may minimize it when someone mistreats them to dodge a confrontation that history has shown won’t change anything. Reality is often denied when we think facing it will shatter any hope still in our grip. But, reality won’t bargain and won’t compromise. And if we remain in denial, the trade-off is more pain than if we had accepted reality’s first invitation.

Is there something you need to accept today? Do you need some discreet guidance about a situation or relationship? Do you have a question? Just contact me. I’m here.

Think about it.

 

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net
Photos courtesy of Pixabay.com

Sure life can suck, but what’s the alternative?

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 “Find the good and applaud.” –Zig Ziglar

river-landscape-202273_1920 - CopyGreat advice from a great man and motivational speaker. For many of us the good in life is often sparse if not absent, but we must search for the good in our lives. We must find something that’s a positive and give thanks for it. We can complain about what’s lacking, what’s wrong, and what’s unfair in our lives or we can speak of what’s right, what’s good, and what’s praiseworthy.

Otherwise, what’s the alternative? Do we gripe and complain all day? Do we become the caustic types of people no one wants to be around because we’re so cynical? One thing I try to remember is that those who can be thankful for little seem to receive enough, and those who are blind to blessings in their life receive nothing more.

Some people determine their years by possessions and promotions. Some people are adverse to showing their age. But what shows more than objects and wrinkles is our attitude. The neat thing about our attitude is that it can be blemish free and vital without any surgical alteration!

sunLife is faithful to respond to your attitude. For the next 24 hours, do not complain, do not think about what’s missing in your life, and do not focus on what’s not right about it. Instead, think about what you have, what’s good about your life and have appreciation–applaud. Repeat after 24 hours.

There’s a saying that it’s your attitude, not arteries, that determines the vitality of your life. Today, show the world an attitude that’s stunning and will turn heads! And you will have enough.

Think about it! In caring and gratitude, Sandy

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©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

Got two minutes to change your life?

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In the late 1800s, beloved poet Robert Browning  wrote, “This could but have happened once, and we missed it, lost it forever.”

Can you recall the details of last Tuesday? We have become insensitive to the passing of time. We’re immune to the dawns of each thanks1tomorrow, taking them for granted, with hardly a thought of the privilege, the new beginning—the gift of life they hold. How rude of us. How presumptuous. How ungrateful of us to not consciously behold every new day that magically unfolds in grandeur for each and every one of us to use. This day, this moment right now can but only happen once and it will be lost forever; don’t miss it.

But who has time to be grateful? Anyone? Time speeds by like a locomotive with a destination of needed sleep after a demanding day. Who among us when running into a grocery store on the way home after late meetings or soccer practice actually seizes the moment and says “I’m grateful for this green pepper?” Seems the experience of gratitude has been added with the others on the postpone list—the pending list—along with doctor visits, dental appointments, eye exams, and getting the Living Will done.

We’ll feel grateful later, when there’s time. Later, we’ll buy a journal and every day note appreciation and meditate on gratitude. If that’s your outlook, I have a challenge for you. I challenge you to take one minute today. Okay, two minutes—two minutes when you’re taking a shower, waiting for the microwave popcorn to beep or during a commercial. Take two minutes in your hectic day to bring to mind your attention to what you’re thankful for that moment, or from that day. Make a Mindful Gratitude List.

IMG_0942Give gratitude attention for 2 minutes today. Then tomorrow do it again, and the next day. You will soon notice a difference in your attitude. You will begin to experience every day more fully and with more appreciation for everything in it and everyone in your life. Well, maybe almost everyone. So, what’s on your Mindful Gratitude List today?  As Oprah Winfrey once told us, “It’s not easy being grateful all the time. But it’s when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you.”

Think about it. In caring, Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

What do you need so happiness and success can arrive?

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“Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” These words written by the extraordinary Dale Carnegie gives us all a reminder about the significance of our own inner character versus the opinions of us that others may hold.

Would it make our lives easier if we could control how other people think of us? If we could have the favorable opinion of everyone in our lives we would be IMG_0275rid of conflicts, disapproval, and rejection. But we don’t hold a remote control to change the channeled thoughts and feelings of other people to ones of our liking. People are going to think what they themselves decide to believe. This fact is precisely why having your own approval on your life is so crucial to well-being. Staying true to your own character and liking yourself will enable you to remain unruffled by the gossip of others. To realize the importance of knowing yourself and liking what you know, is a necessary step for self-respect.

I don’t know any happy and successful people with a self-contempt attitude toward themselves. I don’t know any happy and successful people with bruisesIMG_0843 - Copy from beating themselves up over mistakes and unwanted outcomes. The happy and successful people I know hold a humble confidence in themselves. They’ve spent time dealing with past issues that would block their goals. They’ve corrected the lies they have believed about their inadequacy and shortcomings that would prevent their confidence. They know their weaknesses and manage them rather than excuse them or blame someone else for their existence.

Motivational speaker and self-development guru, Brian Tracy, states “If you wish to achieve worthwhile things in your personal and career life, you must become a worthwhile person in your own self-development.” Where are you today in your self-development? What do you need to correct so happiness and success can arrive?

Think about it. In caring, Sandy

Who are you now?

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“You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don’t think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.”¹

sign2Are you defining your life today past on mistakes made a month ago, a year ago? If all the past errors in judgment were erased and all expectations from others were invalid, who would you be today, right now? Your future will be filled with negativity from the past only if you allow it to be poured into your current thoughts about yourself. Instead, take the wisdom—the positive—available from every mistake and from every heartbreak, and mold that into who you are at this moment forward.

“One of the best ways to educate our hearts is to look at our interaction with IMG_0108.JPG (2)other people, because our relationships with others are fundamentally a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.”²  It’s impossible to have a dysfunctional relationship with others unless you have a dysfunctional relationship with yourself. If you struggle with fears of disapproval, that fear will play out in all of your relationships with others—not just some relationships—all. Everything you do or say will be filtered through a fear of their rejection of you. That fear prompts you to be dishonest with others, to withhold your true opinions and needs, and to become whatever others want you to be. Look at how any unhealthy fears contribute to the status of your relationships, to the status of your life.

Stop at that crossroads. Today, make that powerful decision—who have you decided you really are? Share who you truly are with the people who matter and stay true to your real self.

Think about it. In caring, Sandy

¹Anthony Robbins

²Dr. Stephen Covey

How long should someone be sick?

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What period of time is reasonable to have an illness?
We get restless and resentful when our normal routine is interrupted by the flu or a sprained ankle or any other physical disruption. We are a society of fast-forward, hectic pace people, who get our beverage and meal on the fly threw a drive-by. We got things to do. Places we need to be. There’s no time to be sick. And if we’re laid up for two weeks, forget-about-it, our heads will explode!!
Those of us who are always doing something (myself included) have difficulty IMG_0938 - Copy - Copy - Copysitting in one place unless we’re sleeping. So any medical ailment is viewed as something treading on our freedom and responsibilities. But here’s the thing. Our brain is really chummy with all our organs, ligaments, blood, and bones. Our brain knows all our cells by their names! Our brain is the bodyguard. When something isn’t working right, say, in the small bowel, the brain is the first to know and then it tells you how long it’s going to take for the repairs. And instead of being stubborn and defiant, listen to what your brain and body are telling you. Rest, see a doctor, restore yourself, watch Cheers re-runs or Home Improvement.
In The Anatomy of an Illness: As Perceived by the Patient, Norman Cousins, a IMG_0116 - Copyjournalist, professor, and editor-in-chief, tells of being hospitalized with a rare, crippling disease. When he was diagnosed as incurable in the late 1980s, Cousins checked out of the hospital. Aware of the harmful effects that negative emotions can have on the body, Cousins reasoned the reverse was true. So he borrowed a movie projector and prescribed his own treatment, consisting of Marx Brothers films and old “Candid Camera” reruns. It didn’t take long for him to discover that 10 minutes of laughter provided two hours of pain free sleep.
Amazingly, his debilitating disease was eventually reversed. After the account of his victory appeared in the New England Journal of Medicine, Cousins received IMG_0713more than 3000 letters from appreciative physicians throughout the world.  Cousins also served as Adjunct Professor of Medical Humanities for the School of Medicine at the University of California, Los Angeles, where he did research on the biochemistry of human emotions, which he long believed were the key to human beings’ success in fighting illness. It was a belief he maintained even as he battled heart disease, which he fought both by taking massive doses of Vitamin C and, according to him, by training himself to laugh. He died of heart failure on November 30, 1990, in Los Angeles, California, having survived years longer than his doctors predicted: 10 years after his first heart attack, 26 years after his collagen illness, and 36 years after his doctors first diagnosed his heart disease.
The body heals faster when we listen to it and when we have a good attitude about taking time for those repairs.
Think about it! -In caring, Dr. Sandy
©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

As the director and producer of your thoughts, are you strengthened by them or disabled?

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“Thought is power.”

IMG_0905 - Copy - Copy - CopyIt’s too simple to take your thoughts for granted. It’s too dangerous to take the faulty position that you can’t control your will or purpose. You have the power to make choices; therefore, you have the power to choose the content of your thoughts. The term “Positive Thinking” does not include ignoring the frowning realities of life. Positive thinking refuses to be consumed by frowns. As the director and producer of your thoughts, are you strengthened by them or disabled?
IMG_0452(2)The highest reward in life is not what you get from it, but what you become by it. You’re capable of doing something that makes a difference in the world every day. Your caring, your kindness, your respect for yourself and life makes a difference not only in the lives of those who cross your path, but also makes a difference within you. No one can be exactly like you. No one can make a difference exactly like you can. Today, value your uniqueness, and watch how much you value the uniqueness in others.
Thank you for your time and comments. ~In caring, Dr. Sandy 

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

Did you know you have a say in what you accept today?

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“When people ask me what really changed my life years ago, I tell them that absolutely the most important thing was changing what I demanded of myself. I wrote down all the things I would no longer accept in my life, all the things I would no longer tolerate, and all the things that I aspired to becoming.”¹
Did you know that you have a say in what you accept each day?
Some people think that they have to put up with how they’re treated by co-workers, friends, even loved ones. Some people believe they have to tolerate mistreatment, rudeness, and being told what to do. Some people conclude that they can’t become anything different.
IMG_0564(2)Your life will change the day you experience the fact that you, yes you, decide what’s acceptable in your life. It’s an empowering moment when you take control of the life given to you. Today, make a list, and check it twice, of what you will no longer accept in your life, what you will no longer tolerate, and who you want to be. That’s your first step to changing your life. Do it!
Thanks for your time and comments. –Dr. Sandy

¹Anthony Robbins

Are you and perseverance in the game?

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Perseverance, faith and commitment produces some remarkable successes. But, many of us are stifled by past failures and inadequacies. We’re afraid to try. But the errors of the past are not the forecast for tomorrow. We can’t allow ourselves to live in a world of prior mistakes. Because our hard work and efforts come from the heart, mistakes or failures hurt us deeply. Yet we need not be obsessed with the pain of disappointment and inadequacy. We need to start thinking of what’s next. What do we need to do now.

With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.¹ Did you catch that word: ordinary. Ordinary talent – not rocket science talent – ordinary. Never giving up is not only a test of the belief in ourselves, it’s shows our life character. Look at past mistakes and failures as valuable information of what didn’t work and what to do differently.

Thomas Edison is as famous for his example of tenacity as he is for giving the world the light bulb. He didn’t give up when his first efforts to find an effective filament for the carbon incandescent lamp failed. He did countless experiments with countless kinds materials. As each failed, he would toss it out the window. The pile reached to the second story of his house. He didn’t quit. Instead, he sent men to China, Japan, South America, Asia, and Jamaica in search of fibers and grasses to test in his lab.

IMG_0877One weary day on October 21, 1879 – after 13 months of repeated failures – he succeeded in his search for a filament that would stand the stress of electric current. This is how it happened:                                                                                                                                     Casually picking up a bit of lampblack, he mixed it with tar and rolled it into a thin thread. Then the thought occurred: Why not try a carbonized cotton fiber? For five hours he worked, but it broke before he could remove the mold. Two spools of thread were used up. At last a perfect strand emerged – only to be ruined when trying to place it in a glass tube. Edison refused to admit defeat. He continued without sleep for two days and two nights. Finally, he managed to slip one of the carbonized threads into a vacuum-sealed bulb. And he turned on the current. The sight he had long desired to see finally met his eyes. His persistence amid such discouraging odds has given the world the wonderful electric light!

To be successful you need to keep thinking – to keep trying – to keep learning. Stay in the game. -Dr. Sandy

¹Sir Thomas Foxwell Buxton

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

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