Category Archives: Gratitude

What are the secrets of successful people?

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The Seven Secrets of Successful People

Live with Self-Control
Self-control is the power to respond to other people and situations with self-controlmoral strength, self-command, and integrity. Getting upset at someone who is upset is the worse thing to do. Anger begets anger. When you frighten people with words or actions, you misuse your power and instead, insecurity is demonstrated. When you manipulate, mistreat, or intimidate other people, your power is misused and fragility is demonstrated. Success comes to those who are self-controlled.

Live with Responsibility
If you make other people or situations responsible for how you are going to feel, you will never be successful, or happy. Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions and realize you alone create your experiences in life. Blamer’s and complainer’s are rarely successful.

Live with Respect
To experience success it is necessary to possess self-respect. You have self-respectrespect when you applaud your efforts, encourage yourself, forgive yourself, accept your mistakes and limitations, and refuse mistreatment. Demonstrating respect to others is also necessary despite differing agendas or customs. Expressing courtesy is expressing respect. Success is experienced by people who respect themselves and other people.

Live with Humility
The brilliant philosopher Socrates, did not pride himself on how much he knew—which was noteworthy in his era. Instead, he was humbled by the awareness of how much more he had to learn and understand. Success comes to those individuals who greet others as equal, not secondary; and live in awareness of how much more there is to learn and understand.

Live with Gratitude
It’s not possible to be successful unless you consciously value and appreciate what is already in your possession—the blessings you currently hold. You can not appreciate what you take for granted. God or The Universe will rarely bless you with more unless you’re cognizant of what has already been given to you. To be successful be grateful, and giving.

Live with Love
You can not hate yourself or others and experience success. Hate blocks the love4good that is yours to receive. Hate divides and lies. When you tell yourself that you are inadequate, flawed, or inferior, you tell yourself a lie. You were born with an instinctive and endless supply of self-worth and self-love. You can not love other people unless you love yourself. You can not be successful unless you believe you can be. Love yourself and love one another.

Live with Faith
Because you live what you believe, what you believe determines your level of faithsuccess. Truth is not relative and reality is not a free-for-all perception. An actual truth exists. What we think about expands. In As You Think, James Allen tells us, You will be what you will to be. And Marc Allen states: You have a powerful will, an offspring of a deathless soul, and it can find its way to any goal, regardless of the apparent obstacles. You have all you need within you. All resources are at your command—all you have to do is ask for them. A great visionary teacher said it all, very simply and clearly—Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find, (Matthew 7:7).

To your success!

Think about it. In caring, Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

Sure life can suck, but what’s the alternative?

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 “Find the good and applaud.” –Zig Ziglar

river-landscape-202273_1920 - CopyGreat advice from a great man and motivational speaker. For many of us the good in life is often sparse if not absent, but we must search for the good in our lives. We must find something that’s a positive and give thanks for it. We can complain about what’s lacking, what’s wrong, and what’s unfair in our lives or we can speak of what’s right, what’s good, and what’s praiseworthy.

Otherwise, what’s the alternative? Do we gripe and complain all day? Do we become the caustic types of people no one wants to be around because we’re so cynical? One thing I try to remember is that those who can be thankful for little seem to receive enough, and those who are blind to blessings in their life receive nothing more.

Some people determine their years by possessions and promotions. Some people are adverse to showing their age. But what shows more than objects and wrinkles is our attitude. The neat thing about our attitude is that it can be blemish free and vital without any surgical alteration!

sunLife is faithful to respond to your attitude. For the next 24 hours, do not complain, do not think about what’s missing in your life, and do not focus on what’s not right about it. Instead, think about what you have, what’s good about your life and have appreciation–applaud. Repeat after 24 hours.

There’s a saying that it’s your attitude, not arteries, that determines the vitality of your life. Today, show the world an attitude that’s stunning and will turn heads! And you will have enough.

Think about it! In caring and gratitude, Sandy

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©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

Got two minutes to change your life?

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In the late 1800s, beloved poet Robert Browning  wrote, “This could but have happened once, and we missed it, lost it forever.”

Can you recall the details of last Tuesday? We have become insensitive to the passing of time. We’re immune to the dawns of each thanks1tomorrow, taking them for granted, with hardly a thought of the privilege, the new beginning—the gift of life they hold. How rude of us. How presumptuous. How ungrateful of us to not consciously behold every new day that magically unfolds in grandeur for each and every one of us to use. This day, this moment right now can but only happen once and it will be lost forever; don’t miss it.

But who has time to be grateful? Anyone? Time speeds by like a locomotive with a destination of needed sleep after a demanding day. Who among us when running into a grocery store on the way home after late meetings or soccer practice actually seizes the moment and says “I’m grateful for this green pepper?” Seems the experience of gratitude has been added with the others on the postpone list—the pending list—along with doctor visits, dental appointments, eye exams, and getting the Living Will done.

We’ll feel grateful later, when there’s time. Later, we’ll buy a journal and every day note appreciation and meditate on gratitude. If that’s your outlook, I have a challenge for you. I challenge you to take one minute today. Okay, two minutes—two minutes when you’re taking a shower, waiting for the microwave popcorn to beep or during a commercial. Take two minutes in your hectic day to bring to mind your attention to what you’re thankful for that moment, or from that day. Make a Mindful Gratitude List.

IMG_0942Give gratitude attention for 2 minutes today. Then tomorrow do it again, and the next day. You will soon notice a difference in your attitude. You will begin to experience every day more fully and with more appreciation for everything in it and everyone in your life. Well, maybe almost everyone. So, what’s on your Mindful Gratitude List today?  As Oprah Winfrey once told us, “It’s not easy being grateful all the time. But it’s when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you.”

Think about it. In caring, Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

You won’t be happy until… until what?

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You won’t be happy until… until what? Until you make a certain amount of money? Until you’re loved? Until you’re offered a different job? Until your parent’s are nice to you?

What if instead you said, “I’ll be happier if I …” and you took responsibility for your happiness? The first statement has you waiting for something to happen IMG_0953 - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copyoutside yourself before you will be happy. The second statement requires you to do something to meet your need for happiness. Elizabeth Carter said, “Not to be happy is not to be grateful.” Making your happiness dependent on what other people do or don’t do will keep you from the very experience you seek—happiness! It’s like you expect someone to make up for what is missing and make you happy. To have your happiness dependent on yourself means you’re more likely to obtain it. Dr. John Grey says that when you’re attached to wanting more, then you create a mind-set that “has to have” something to be happy. When you blame others for a lack of happiness, you give up happiness. If you make people or situations not in your control responsible for how you’re going to feel, you’ll never be happy. As long as you believe incorrectly that someone else is responsible for how you feel, you’ll never have happiness. You believe the lie that you can’t have what you want because of so and so, or this or that. When you make someone or something the reason why you’re not successful, you stop your ability to have that success.

DO YOU HAVE GRATITUDE? LET’S FIND OUT…ASSESSMENT ON GRATITUDE 
Count the statements that describe you. Please be honest with yourself!
__Life doesn’t seem to get better as I get older.
__I’m lacking things I need to be happy.
__Most of the stuff I do is boring.
__This is a bad time in my life.
__I expect to be doing in a year exactly what I’m doing now.
__It’s more common for me to focus on what I lack than on what I have.
__I was a lot happier when I was younger.
__I feel old and drained.
__I don’t spend time each day listing mentally or otherwise my blessings.
__Compared to other people, I’m worse off than they.
__I tend to take people I care about for granted.
__In an average day I say “whatever” more than I say “thank you.”
__My moods would be better if my life was different.
__I haven’t obtained most of the important things I want and that bothers me.
__The financial resources of the average person seem to be getting worse.
__It’s difficult to appreciate good things in life when I have so many struggles.
__If I’m to be a worthwhile person I need to achieve a certain status.
__I don’t usually feel grateful about my average day.
__I can’t be happy if I miss out on many of the good things in life.
__If I don’t do as well as other people it means I’m inadequate.
__It’s impossible to gain another person’s respect without being talented.
__I’m not a joyful person.

If you have checked four or more statements as being true, then you could use more gratitude in your attitude.

You can now see why the opposite of self-pity, and its components of negativity and complaining, is gratitude. An ungrateful person is an unhealthy person. They can be found in a prolonged self-induced “poor me” depression hanging on to unfairness and tough breaks excusing any responsibility. Of course, the IMG_0946 - Copy - Copy - Copymore you focus on any state of mind, the more of it you create for yourself. Individuals who are ungrateful for what they possess create more ungratefulness, more unsuccessful results, and more negativity. The very
prize they seek—happiness, success, some good breaks—are kept from them because of an ungrateful attitude for what they possess now. An attitude of gratitude in life leads to a sense of contentment, and focusing on what is lacking in life leads to resentment, jealousy and unhappiness. It’s healthy and good to want success and happiness, and more of everything only if you’re sincerely grateful for what has been given to you already. If you’re not grateful for what you have now, you won’t be grateful for more.

Happiness comes from what you already have or what you have the power to make happen.

Wise people enjoy what they have—they enjoy their blessings. People who are IMG_0944 - Copy - Copy - Copynot thankful for what they possess, are not likely to be thankful for more. You’ll never be happy until you learn to enjoy what you already possess. Measure gratitude not by things, but by things for which you would not take money. Henry Ward Beecher said, “A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.” The poorest person in the world is the one who is always wanting more.

Thank you for your time and replies. -In caring, Dr. Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

What do you need to have to be happy?

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“There was a period when I believed stuff meant something. I thought that if you had matching side chairs and a sofa that harmonized and some beautiful lamps to light them you would have a home, that elegance signaled happiness.” ― Anna Quindlen

Does your happiness depend on the belongings and possessions that surround you? Does money really buy happiness?

wealth4I think that the more stuff we need to have to experience a sense of happiness and self-worth, the more dependent we are on the objects of this world for cheerfulness. This can be a very flighty way of life. To withhold our meeting with happiness until we attain a list of stuff to possess—certain cars, boats, a specific house, neighborhood, attire, vacations, furnishings, income, and lifestyle—is an unnecessary delay of joy. Sure, those items may be welcomed, but since reality indicates that only five percent of the world’s population can protract such a life, it is all the more valid reason to not define happiness on possessions.

An unfortunate amount of people look back over their life in a series of wealth2possessions. They view life by what they have pursued and acquired, not by what they have lived, learned, and experienced. “Well I got the boat in ’92, the VP job in ’97, the Hawaii condo in ’98, the Porshe in ’01, the yacht in ’03, and the ten acre estate in ’05.” Life is a series of moments in relationships, not a collection of possessions.

The impression that happiness requires lots of possessions is a lie. The notion that wealth will make you happy is a lie. The opinion that success is determined by possessions is a lie. Many people chose to focus on what they lack, what is wealth3unfair, what they should have; and are blind to the good fortune already bestowed to them.

To live consciously in the moment with gratitude is easier said than done. It seems more common to harp on the events of the past and cite its hardships as the reasons for why the present is lacking the desired possessionswhy the present isn’t what it should be. This conclusion can destroy any possibility for happiness and success right now.

Today, remain determined to dwell on the good fortune already given to you. Notice if you are allowing any negative conclusions to influence your happiness and success today.

Tell me what you think! Leave a reply!

Thanks for your time and comments. In caring, Dr. Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

What are you expecting today?

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Some individuals hold others responsible for the disappointment and unwanted outcomes they experience. This furnishes them with a blaming, self-defeating state of mind. After being injured, disappointed, hurt, and violated enough times we may forfeit the anticipation of good outcomes in life. We remain snared in the unfairness of life where incorrect thinking and pessimistic feelings reign. We invent an imaginary scale by which events are weighed. Of course, the scale never measures above bad luck. No matter how many blessings exist or good IMG_0294things happen, it’s not seen, or it’s not enough, or something is flawed with it or we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“You have a style, a way of being. You hear people describe others by noting their persona: He’s a real hard charger, or she’s a cool customer. Some approach life as a combat: they’re hostile, even explosive. Others are milquetoast who expect to get trampled, and do. Your attitude of approach dictates what you get back. You may complain about the way people react to
you, but believe me, you create it, just as everyone else creates the reactions they get from the world. Honestly evaluate your style of engagement, and you will begin to understand why the world responds to you as it does.”¹

Unless we tackle the thinking that results in this self-defeating negativity, we’ll become more complaining, more resentful, and continue to experience more unfairness because that’s what we’re expecting. What are you expecting today? Dr. Sandy

¹Dr. Phil McGraw in Life Strategies

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

What is Grace?

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Grace is . . .
                           a caring look
                                                        quiet moments                         a tender touch
         being accepted                             tranquil snowfalls                                                                                                                                special people                                                                                                                                     renewal and rest                    sunsets                      time                                                                                                                             a warm blanket                                    abiding kindness                                                                  faith           long hugs                          sudden smiles                         IMG_0411(2)                                        helping hands                               laughter                                                             prayer                                                                                                                                         strength and guts                    children singing                                                                 unexpected good                           mistakes forgotten                              sins forgiven                                       caring words               a happy sigh                               compassion                                                                  open arms                            a Savior given                                                                                                                                                Christmas morning                                     God’s joy and embrace

Christmas Blessings!

-Dr. Sandy

©All rights reserved, 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson, E-Couch.net

Can you find one element of your life for which you’re grateful?

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In today’s world with unemployment, loneliness, illness, poverty, and crime, it’s easy to lose focus of any blessings in life. Everyone is hurting, everyone is imagesgratituderockworried, everyone is trying to make ends meet.

The negative aspects of our lives get so much attention and possess so much of our thought content, that we take for granted the daily blessings before us. Today, let’s stop and remember what we possess–what we hold dear today, and be thankful. -sn