Problem Shattering Strategies – Dr. Sandy Nelson
I’m the first to admit that I bought into the idea early on in life that my experiences day-to-day should not contain difficulties. I remember in my 20’s having the thought that if lived properly, I would be exempt from struggles and problems. You can imagine the turmoil and jolt this caused me when reality arrived. When problems would of course occur, instead of seeing them as a part of life, I viewed them as evidence that I was not doing something correctly.
Someone once said: There’s not a single human being who has dodged the experience of difficulties in life.
My life changed when I realized that what was wrong was my thinking! See your difficulties today not as evidence that you’re flawed, rather proof that you’re alive! Seek solutions, check your thoughts against reality, and seek the coping skills needed to overcome! Here are the strategies most useful:
1. If at all possible, give yourself 24 hours to process the problem and brain-storm possible solutions. Rarely are their circumstances where a decision is required immediately. Time provides you a chance to not react in the moment which almost always makes things worse.
2. Gather as much info as you can about the situation and dilemma so you’re able to respond with facts.
3. Seek wisdom from someone who may have experienced the same situation, or who could advise you. Gain support and encouragement.
4. Keep your feelings separate from reality. Going forward, your action plan needs to be based on what’s true, not what you feel.
5. There’s no benefit in blaming yourself or feeling sorry for yourself. In fact, it can make matters worse. Accept that in the real world everyone screws up and makes mistakes, even you.
6. Take responsibility and follow through with the best solution for the problem.
Steve Maraboli, a Behavioral Scientist specializing in Motivational Psychology, wrote: Sometimes life knocks you on your ass… get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.
Think about it.
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